Machine gun…

A Dream… of something better… digital collage

I’m a little over halfway through the treatment now. I can’t say positively 100% that I can actually feel a difference that has been generated by the treatment, but I am going through some rough personal issues during all of this, and I am handling it… I am thinking clear, clearer… I think…

The level of intensity of my head has risen to machine gun rapid fire at times now. The Jackhammer is still there, digging, carving away unnecessary bits and pieces, uncovering, revealing… But I had to set up some machine gun turrets, to protect myself from outside influences. I don’t like this imagery, but I’m finding it necessary to perceive with my work right now to remain diligent and undisturbed from unwanted thoughts and images. So I’ve got my work crew Jackhammering away and digging, and I’ve got another crew standing guard keeping the attackers at bay…

I’ve got my routine down pretty well now. I watch nature videos for the 20-minute sessions. I make sure that they are ones that don’t have any signs of humans in them. I work on my breathing exercises. Which is become much easier the focus on with the nature videos. I visualize my hands, my surgical hands, slicing and dicing building and repairing new Pathways in the brain… and then I go about my day… And process…

…been thinking a lot about happiness vs. Contentment… The difference… the realities…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s