The woodpecker…

The backside of a collaged Journal I created…

I’m going in for Session 5 today. Session 5 with the Woodpecker, that’s what I call TMS now. That’s what it feels like. Imagine a little woodpecker sitting on the left side of your head and every few seconds hammering away… Trying to knock some sense into me… it’s not painful, but it’s not 100% comfortable either. I’ve been working on breathing exercises in conjunction with the flow of the tapping. The first I was breathing kind of against the grain, inhaling while it’s happening what’s happening instead of breathing into it. But then I thought back on my conversation with the breathing coach at the life Healing Center trauma center. And I really focused on breathing into it. And I changed my pattern deep breaths, exhaling during the tapping all the way out bringing the breath back up inhaling, exhaling on the next round of tapping. Focus on breathing into the brain, focusing on the magnetic energy stimulating… My thoughts can wander and I try to focus on the breathing. It definitely helps. Finding a rhythm and keeping it is a challenge though.

After the third visit I noticed my tinnitus was a little worse, so I looked up tinnitus and TMS and low and behold there had been a huge study done and it shows the TMS actually helped people with tinnitus… So I was a little dismayed, until the next day. I was driving to work, radio on, AC on, Windows kind of cracked, but something didn’t sound right… So I turned down the radio, turned off the AC, roll up the windows… And I can barely hear my tinnitus… And that was a shock… Because it’s 24/7 all of the time. And this was the first time in a long time where I had noticed that it was barely barely even there. The next day it was back kind of normal. But something’s happening in my brain for sure… And I’m keeping an eye on it.

Thought of a lot about being happy as well. But I’ll write more about that later… the image I used for this post is the backside of a journal that I collaged. I was hoping maybe to use it to write during this experience, but as I explained earlier, the position I need to be in in the chair does not lend itself to writing… So it’ll be safe for another experience, for either me or someone else, who knows yet…

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